Guard My Baby Page 3

  Humiliated beyond belief, she turned her back to Cade. She shuddered when he touched her shoulder. No way would she let him touch her. She shook off his hand and stepped away from his effort at comfort. She couldn't afford to let him lay a hand on her traumatized body - not with so many mystifying emotions slicing through her, pounding her tortured brain and body all at once.

  How could he do this to her? How could he show up like this and send her into a blubbering, blundering, blithering mess? Damn these ridiculous pregnancy hormones anyway!

  Finally, she got a hold of herself enough to swipe the tears away with the fingertips she'd been holding over her eyes for the past few moments to hide her shame, uncertainty and mortification. She breathed deeply, trying to cleanse her burning lungs and rein in her spiraling emotions. She could do this. She could face him. After all, just because he'd turned her body to mindless mush last summer, it wasn't as if she couldn't fight off such a ridiculous, lustful, unwanted, useless, chemical-reaction attraction now. She'd been a virgin then, inexperienced and naive, and she wasn't much more experienced now, since Cade had been her first, last and only lover, but still...

  What was wrong with her? She was an adult and about to be a mother. She'd learned her lesson the hard way. Sure, he'd been partially honest with her, telling her he'd leave as soon as his bereavement leave was up. He hadn't been completely honest with her, though. He hadn't told her his real name. He hadn't trusted her with that not-so-minor piece of information. Then again, what did he owe her? It'd only been a short-term affair, after all, with no promises, no expectations, and no strings attached.

  Well, maybe he owed her nothing, not even an explanation, but if that was the case, then neither did she owe him anything. She didn't want or need anything from him. It wasn't as if she was still infatuated with him, no matter how gorgeous he was, no matter that she bawled her eyes out right in front of him, no matter that he'd managed to batter down all the defenses she'd put in place over the past nine months.

  Lainie straightened her shoulders, lifted her chin, took one last swipe at her damp eyes, swung back around to face him - and what a phenomenally monumental effort it was, too. She decided to make an attempt at her own explanation.

  With a tear-filled croak from her clogged throat that was supposed to be words, she began, "Cade, I... "

  He took a devastating step closer to her, his intoxicating scent surrounding her, sending her assaulted senses reeling into overdrive and making her gasp. Oh, Lord, now was not the time be reacting to his primal power like this.

  "I asked you a question, Lainie. I need an answer. The truth. All I want is a simple yes or no. Is it mine?" His deep voice vibrated along her spiking nerve endings and ricocheted off the inside of her now-aching noggin. A jack hammer lodged itself firmly and irretrievably inside her skull, having taken up residence in her brain. The headache that had been brewing for the past few minutes hopped into full swing, but it didn't stop the sizzling bolt of lightning from crossing from his body to hers. Electricity landed straight in the pit of her roiling stomach, then plunged downward, right to her silly, traitorous woman's core.

  He drilled her with a look of pure, penetrating, male-driven intensity she'd never seen him use, except in the middle of some of their most intense lovemaking moments. Those had been some of the most extremely intense moments she'd ever experienced in her life, indeed.

  She could only nod an affirmation and go back to holding her womb like the mother hen she would always be. Cade visibly dealt with the truth, running a hand through his hair in frustration and pacing back and forth like a caged animal. Truth, which he hadn't exactly given her either. She lifted her chin higher.

  She would've given a million dollars of her lottery money to know what he thought, but she didn't dare ask him. She doubted that her voice would work, anyway. She found herself bewildered by the fact she could still breathe through the dry, clogged passage serving feebly as her windpipe.

  Lainie waited. And waited. And waited. For him to say something, anything...

  "Are you married?" Cade stopped pacing and threw her a curve ball.

  Lainie blinked. "Why would you think... "

  "Are you kidding?" Cade scoffed. "Most people don't go around changing their last names and moving from state to state."

  Lainie shifted and glanced away. "I'm not moving from state to state. I only moved once, right after... "

  She didn't finish. She couldn't. She hadn't spoken of their relationship since she'd arrived in Texas, except to tell Trish, her doctor - and now friend - about her former lover. She'd refused to discuss the topic ever since, to Trish's ever-increasing irritation. Trish thrived on girl-talk. Lainie gagged thinking about it. The man in front of her was the sole reason for that. Girl-talk had gotten her in this predicament in the first place. She no longer spoke to those girls, ever.

  Drawing in a deep breath, Cade took a step back from her, which should have been a good thing. It kept her from having to breathe in his masculine, woodsy scent. However, now she could look at all of him again.

  Except for the dark scowl creasing his forehead, he looked as tasty as he always had, his tall, dark, and handsome frame and features so large and imposing he blocked her entire view. Not that she really wanted to look at anything else. Nor had she ever wanted to look at anyone else. Not before him. Certainly not after him. She'd surprised herself more than anyone when she had picked Cade up in that bar and gone to bed with him, repeatedly, for several weeks in a row. She didn't want to look elsewhere now either. Certainly not to Drayton...

  Geez. She didn't even want to spend the briefest of moments contemplating Drayton Clausen. She had to keep control of her wayward thoughts and focus on what to say and do with the only man who'd ever affected and tempted her like this. Cade stood rigidly in front of her, filling her senses, as he'd filled them every mesmerizing moment they'd spent together last summer. Which is why she was in this fine mess.

  She'd kidded herself about how little she'd been infatuated with Cade. She hadn't gotten over him, as she thought she had. She stood there ogling him like a schoolgirl with a crush, dazed and tongue-tied beyond belief, waiting for him to make the next move.

  She'd thought herself all grown up and ready to be a mom, at the ripe old age of twenty-three. Now all she wanted to do was sluice back into her home, crawl into bed, throw the covers over her head, curl up into a fetal position - limited only by the lump in her lap - and wait for her body and mind to calm down from the testosterone-induced, pheromone-released, estrogen-increased, hormone-ridden adrenaline rush imposed upon her, while trying to make sense of this unexpected encounter - this distressing, new, unlikely event and dilemma.

  Cade moved back into her space. She winced but stood her ground. She had to. Her feet weren't listening to her mummified brain. "Why the name change? Why are you here?"

  "That's none of your business." For all her outward bravado - if she seemed outwardly brave at all - she wished she could simply disappear, fade dead away. She needed time to regroup, and she needed space.

  "It is now." Cade declared. He moved, suddenly and without warning, stepping closer to her with one long stride of his long legs, a dark, brooding look in his deep, fathomless eyes. She tried not to look directly into his eyes, the eyes that'd held her gaze so easily when they'd made love...

  Damn it. Why did she always go back to that vision?

  Still, in this position, so perilously close to him, she had no choice but to gaze into his sharp eyes, and remember, and feel... way too much for a pregnant woman about to give birth.

  "No. It's not." She nearly swooned. His profound scent swept over her. She couldn't pull away, and she couldn't tear her burning, dry, tired-for-lack-of sleep-lately eyes from his penetrating, captivating glare. She locked her stubborn gawk with his annoyed gape and tried not to wither into a puddle of mush.

  She waited. And waited some more.

  "Are you sure it's mine?" His eyes shifted to her tummy, and his ques
t stabbed her heart with the words of doubt and seared her soul with his challenging, suspicious eyes.

  She sucked in a sharp, stunned breath. The thought that he might not believe her, that he might think otherwise, had never even entered her mind. It had never occurred to her that she might have to prove paternity, if and when she found Cade. It made her irate. He questioned her fidelity, accused her of...

  Fidelity? What fidelity? He disappeared. What right does he have to challenge my faithfulness or anything else?

  "Yes, I'm sure. She's yours," Lainie said in as strong a voice as she could muster under the circumstances. For emphasis, in a much weaker voice, her words whooshing out in a mere whisper, she added, "There's never been anyone else... but you."

  His eyes widened in surprise. Not that he should have been surprised. Lainie grew infuriated at his obvious shock. How dare he? She'd returned to celibacy after losing her virginity to him. What had he thought she'd do? He had to know, that just because she'd given herself to him - unreservedly and without a moment's regret, even when she'd found out that she was having their child and had decided that she'd raise it, alone - she did not fall into bed with every man she met in his wake.

  Wait. Had he? Fallen into bed with every woman he'd met and been attracted to since he'd left her behind? Probably. He'd likely been with countless women since he'd slept with her. The thought made her sick and peeved beyond all rational reason.

  Suddenly, Cade's expression softened. He touched her cheek with the gentleness of a feather. She flinched, blinked, and shivered. Her eyes closed tightly, of their own accord. She kept them that way, shutting out the sight of him, trying to ignore the delightful way his warm, strong fingers felt on her sensitive facial skin.

  She decided to soak it up. Wallow in it. It might be the last time he touched her this intimately, as if he gave a damn. She might as well enjoy it while it lasted and pretend that fairy tales and dreams could come true.

  "I'm sorry, Lainie. If I'd known, I would've come back. I would've found a way to be here for you, and for the baby." His voice sounded raw with emotion.

  Her body jolted, and she came out of her stupor.

  Cade hadn't found her because he'd been looking for her. He'd come for another reason.

  Chapter Five

  Lainie's eyes widened in alarm. Please, God. She prayed that it was some odd, horrifying coincidence that Cade stood at her threshold. She stepped away from his warm touch and begged in a shaky voice, "Please, tell me Chuck Winston is not your employer."

  Cade didn't say a word. He clamped his mouth shut, ground his clenched teeth in his set jaw, and rolled his shoulders in what resembled a stiff shrug. His response told Lainie one of two things: either God wasn't listening, or He was taking his good, sweet time answering her prayer. Or maybe He had his own far-out way of answering her prayer, and His own twisted sense of humor.

  Either way, Cade still stood there, looking at her intently. His eyes bored a hole through her traumatized outer tough facade and read her like a book, she'd bet, all the way to the part of her brain she'd closed off to the rest of the world - the part refusing to allow anyone to know how much she'd cared for this mysterious man so many months ago.

  Cade cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Chuck's my half-brother, and I work for him, as of last week."

  She sighed. "Then I suppose you've been assigned to protect my baby, and...

  "Our baby." His smooth, mesmerizing voice dipped deeper and more grindingly on her jittery nerves than ever before. His stony expression and sharp, dazzling eyes stabbed her all the way to her battered-as-if-with-a-blunt-object, suddenly-darkened soul.

  I should've tried harder to find him. This wouldn't have happened if I'd found him.

  Meeting his mistrustful gaze, she drilled him with one of her own meaningful looks. She drew herself up to her full height of all of five foot, five inches. Of course, Cade's six foot, three inches towered over her in a quite intimidating manner. She refused to allow his overwhelming presence to bother her. With as much force and vehemence as she could manage, she declared, "Yes, well, either way, I'm sure this won't work. Chuck will have to send someone else."

  Cade crossed his arms and glanced down at his suitcase. He braced his feet apart and took on a stance that said he wasn't budging an inch. "Not a snowball's chance in hell."

  Her jaw dropped. Then she snapped her mouth shut. She should have known he'd be like this. He wasn't the yielding type. He was the macho, I-can-do-anything-I-set-my-mind-to type. The gung-ho military type.

  She wasn't having it. She wasn't taking his invasion of her home lying down. She'd reached her limit last summer. He'd disappeared, and she'd discovered her pregnancy and his deceit, but not his true identity.

  She flung her hands through the air, trying to wave him away, as if swatting the air would get rid of him, like a pesky fly. He couldn't stay here. He just couldn't. Period. She hoped she didn't whine when she said, "Cade, you must know how uncomfortable this'd be for both of us, and you can't show up here and intrude on my life and... "

  "I'm not going anywhere, Lainie. You're having my baby, and from what I've been told, someone wants to kill it." His eyes darkened to charcoal. Lainie could almost feel the anger simmering beneath the surface of his calm, cool outer shell - the outer exterior that might break at any moment. Suddenly, although it wasn't the best time to be thinking such things, she wondered just what it would take to make him crack that hard surface that seemed so impenetrable. With clenched teeth and a set jaw, Cade interrupted her mute, wandering thoughts. His surly voice sounded even deeper and more persistent when he insisted, "I'm not going to let that happen."

  She remembered with a jolt Cade's intensity and his apparent devastation at the time of his sister's and his niece's untimely deaths. He'd wanted to kill whoever murdered his family. He'd sworn his vengeance, and she'd seen that he meant it. Even now, she wondered if he'd upheld that vow. The same burning intensity fumed in his gloomy expression, and she understood the rock-hard determination behind his solid, unyielding stance. The dangerous glint in his smoldering eyes told her that he might be her best bet, after all, and her baby's best chance at survival.

  She shook herself inwardly. She couldn't deal with that - Cade living with her, seeing him on a daily basis. Chuck would have to send another bodyguard. And that was that.

  "Fine," she agreed with a lie. She'd let him have his way, for now. She didn't have the time or inclination to argue with him at the moment, anyway. She needed to get going. She was on her way to have their baby. She'd have to think of a way to talk sense into him and get rid of him later. Or she could fire him. Then he'd have to leave. He couldn't trespass and take over her space if she fired him. Could he? No, but he could fight her for custody. Not that he'd win that battle, of course, but he could make her life, and Eli's, a living hell.

  Damn it. She'd have to think about all that later, too. Resigned and frustrated, she waved for him to follow her inside. "Okay. Let me show you to your room. We'll have to debate all of this later."

  She didn't hear him behind her, but she felt him there. His step was so light that he hardly made a sound. What kind of practice, patience and training did it take to move so smoothly and tread so silently and lightly? And just what sort of job of stealth did he do in the military?

  No use thinking about that now either. It didn't matter to her in the least anyway, except that, well, there was Eli to consider. Lainie would have to figure out exactly what role she wanted Cade to play in Eli's life, now that he'd returned so unexpectedly. She couldn't have the irresistible man serving as her daughter's - their daughter's - bodyguard. Oh, no. Not right here in her peaceful, quiet, solitary home. She'd have to get Chuck to replace Cade, immediately if not sooner, and she'd have to find out exactly what role Cade planned to fill in his daughter's - their daughter's - life, as well.

  How did things get so complicated, so fast? I wish...

  She had no idea what to wish
for anymore. Anything but this impossibly tense, incredibly mortifying, ridiculously perplexing situation. At one time, she'd wanted to do anything within her power to tell Cade about their child. Now she just wanted to vaporize into oblivion and never have to face him again. But there was simply too much of her oversized body to consider invisibility, or any kind of disappearance whatsoever. She certainly couldn't escape by running away from him. The most she'd be able to manage would be a pitiful wobble.

  She led him into one of the guest rooms. "Go ahead and get settled. Then we can go over security procedures. You can ask me anything you need to know about the security installment features already in place, and... "

  He dropped his luggage with a loud plop and turned on her. "That's not exactly what I care to talk about right now, Lainie." Oh, God. Here goes. "I want to know why I was told I'd be protecting the baby of a woman named Lainie Blanford, not Lainie Blanchet. That's the name you gave me last year. It's the name I tried to find you under last month."

  Lainie sucked in a breath. "You tried to find me? Before this? Why?"

  Cade went still. He started to speak, opened his mouth, closed his mouth, and looked like a fish on a hook. Finally, he waved his arm in the air. "Never mind that. Don't change the subject. I want some answers, damn it. No one seems to know who you are. I met this older couple. The woman looked like you, and the man had your eyes. They denied knowing you."

  Her parents. Oh, God. Why hadn't they warned her someone looked for her? Probably because someone always looked for her, and she usually didn't want those greedy money-grubbers seeking her out.

  Cade narrowed his eyes. "Why could I find no record of your existence? I could only find previous addresses under Blanchet, even through your social security number. Who are you? And why did you lie to me?" His eyes drew closer together, until the brows were almost linked. She was almost in such a state of hysteria she came very close to laughing at the thought of Cade with a unibrow, but humor eluded her. Go figure. "Did you lie to Chuck? Are you even in any kind of danger?"